I don’t know how it is with you, but I am really struggling with letting go. Letting go of people, relationships, situations, the past. I guess it got better over time, but that doesn’t mean it´s not hard. It hurts.
I think it's one of the hardest things we ever have to do in life. We all know deep down that there are moments, memories, and people we need to release from our grasp, but why is it so darn difficult?
First, it's because of the heart. Our hearts are stubborn creatures, holding on to what once made us feel alive, happy and aligned with. We clutch onto the past like a safety blanket, even when it's tattered and worn. Those cherished memories, the warmth of a long-lost love, or the safety of a friendship that's turned toxic – they cling to our hearts, refusing to let go. It´s crazy as we even hold on to things that hurt us over and over again.
The second reason is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of losing something we've grown accustomed to. Change is scary, and the thought of what life will be like without that person, that job, that habit, terrifies us. It's like standing on the edge of a precipice, looking down into a vast abyss, not knowing if you'll soar or fall. For me, the fear of change and losing something or someone has a lot to do with acceptance. Often times I want to preserve these times and happy parts of my life even though they are long gone. But by refusing to accept exactly that change I tend to not see what´s actually waiting on the other side. And that is time and space for new beginnings.
The third reason is pride. We often don't want to admit to ourselves or others that we're struggling, that something has become a burden or that we outgrew a situation. Our ego whispers in our ear, telling us that letting go is a sign of weakness or a sign of running away from something. So we pretend everything is fine, even when it's tearing us apart inside.
Letting go requires strength, and it's a strength we don't always feel we have. We need to muster the courage to unclasp our hands, open our hearts, and release whatever is holding us back. It means accepting that we can't control everything, that we can't change the past, and that sometimes, we need to surrender to the flow of life, accept and look forward to what we open our life’s to when we have finally made space for the new.
But besides the strength we need, sometimes we also need time to accept and it´s ok to take exactly that time. Just because others might be faster or it might seem easier for them to take the next step, does not mean you have to align with their time line. Some goodbyes take an insane amount of time and energy. But you will eventually get there, when the suffering becomes unbearable or you feel less and less aligned with person, energy, place, or whatsoever.
And guess what, after this struggle you will find liberation and it will feel so light and good. Exactly this gives us the chance to live up to being our true self. The true self we have become. To let go means to acknowledge who we are right now and what aligns with us most. We make space for new experiences, new loves, new memories. We give ourselves the chance to heal and grow. We become free, unburdened, and light.
Yes, letting go is heart-wrenchingly hard. It's a process of tears, doubt, and vulnerability. But it's also a path to renewal, to a brighter, lighter, more joyful future. So, take a deep breath and take that damn first step. It's time to let go, and in doing so, you'll find the strength to embrace what's waiting for you on the other side.
xx baj.